all these emotions
by dreamaholic
Summary: formerly titled tonite i wanna cry. just a series of songfics that have no relation to each other! r


summary: a short songfic i put together on a ffriday night, sittin at home alone.it can be about whoever u want it to be.

disclaimer: do i even have to say anything>.>

_Alone in this house again tonight  
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine_

The lone man in the room opened his eyes. Never had he felt so groggy. That is, not before she left. The way he spent his nights and days were always the same. The TV was on, but he was unable to hear it. A bottle of his strongest and most aged wine sat beside him on the table. He never had a taste for alcohol. That is, not until she left.

_There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me  
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me_

He opened his eyes wider and rubbed the sleep from them. The pictures on the wall were all he had left of her. The way they used to smile and laugh. The bright days they spent together, a magic ball that surely reflected the future. Not any more. Often he asked himself why he didn't take them down. And even though he told himself he didn't know, he did. He still loved her.

_I'll never get over you walkin' away_

But he obviously didn't make it evident. Because she left him. Walked out of his life. Walked out in a way he didn't think was possible. No explanation. No note. No reasons to explain. No reasons to leave a note. Just up and left, no good-bye. He was never the same. He still loved her.

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show_

He closed his eyes and sat back.

_And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control_

He clenched his fist around the wine bottle. He tried to prevent the one thing from happening that he didn't want to happen.

_But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain_

He took a drink of the wine, not bothering to pour it in the long forgotten wine glass.

_To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain_

His eyes burnt as he tried desperately to prevent them from falling.

_From my eyes_

He wouldn't allow for sadness or tears. He was stronger than that.

_Tonight i wanna cry_

"No tears," he whispered.

_Would it help if i turned a sad song on  
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone_

He looked around for the remote, hoping to find something good on the radio. Maybe turn on a sad song so he knew he wasn't alone in this world, wasn't the only one with sadness and heartbreak. But he found, that, instead of helping him, the songs only made it worse for him and his broken heart.

_Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters  
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better_

He reached under the bed and his hands came across the box. He pulled it out and laid it in his lap, his eyes stinging. This box was all that remained of their relationship, of the golden days. Other than the pictures. He looked at the first words of each letter;

"_I sit at my desk as I write this letter."_

_"All I'm going to say is I love you and miss you... "_

_"I should be home around 5 tonight to cook dinner."_

He stared at the flowing script of her handwriting. All of the letters written when both were so naïve and green. When love was so new to them. He was hit with a sudden sadness as he stared at her words.

_But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way_

And here he was. All alone, hiding behind his memories of her. And him and how it could have been. How it should have been.

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show_

He tossed the box of letters on the floor. This was not how he should feel.

But he would not let anyone know how he truly felt. He wouldn't let it show. They all expected him to hate her. But, he still loved her.

_And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight i wanna cry_

He felt his eyes sting as his vision blurred. They would come tonight, no doubt about it. For weeks, months, he had been strong. Showed his buddies that he wouldn't let a mere woman get to him.

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To Hell with this pride let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight i wanna cry_

It happened then, the single tear fell. At first it was only one, then another, then another, until the man was sobbing.

_Tonight I wanna cry_

there you have it.


End file.
